How not to take things personally ?

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

• Can you explain the difference between the idioms "let it roll off your back" and "brush it off"? Do they have slightly different connotations?

• The idiom "don't sweat it" is a very casual way of saying something. Can you think of other phrasal verbs with a similar meaning that might be more appropriate in a formal setting?

• "Water off a duck's back" is a rather colorful idiom. Can you describe a situation where you might use this idiom?

---

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

English	Russian	German	Example
Scapegoat	Козёл отпущения (Kozël otpushcheniya)	Sündenbock (Sündenbock)	As a referee, I am the scapegoat.
Public speaker	Публичный оратор (Publichnyy orator)	Redner (Redner)	I'm a public speaker, like tonight.
Acknowledge	Признать (Priznat')	Anerkennen (Anerkennen)	Our ego wants to be acknowledged: "I'm right!"
Ego	Эго (Ego)	Ego (Ego)	When my ego takes over, I'm fighting all day.
Drain	Истощать (Istoshchat')	Aussaugen (Aussaugen)	It drains my energy.
Kickoff	Стартовый удар (Startiy udar)	Anstoß (Anstoß)	You are standing at the kickoff of the match of your life.
Toss	Подбрасывание монеты (Podбраsyvanie monety)	Münzwurf (Münzwurf)	I brought my coin for the toss.
Doubt	Сомнение (Somnenie)	Zweifel (Zweifel)	I doubt about myself.
Raw nerve	Больное место (Bol'noe mesto)	Schwachstelle (Schwachstelle)	These words they shout at me, like here, do really hit a raw nerve.
Criticism	Критика (Kritika)	Kritik (Kritik)	When you are being criticized and it hurts...
Rooted	Укорененный (Ukorenennyy)	Verwurzelt (Verwurzelt)	Chances are big that this is rooted in your childhood.
Recognition	Признание (Priznanie)	Anerkennung (Anerkennung)	I'm longing so hard for recognition, and I feel sad if I don't get it.
Empathy	Сочувствие (Souchuvstvie)	Einfühlungsvermögen (Einfühlungsvermögen)	Give yourself some empathy.
Vulnerable	Уязвимый (Uyazvimyy)	Verletzlich (Verletzlich)	By being vulnerable...
Enhance	Улучшить (Uluchshite')	Verbessern (Verbessern)	Wouldn't that enhance our relationships enormously?

---

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

Intention	Намерение (Namerenie)	Absicht (Absicht)	Why? Why is he or she looking at his or her smartphone? Maybe he has just received an important message, one he has been waiting for.
Irritate	Раздражать (Razdrazhat')	Irritieren (Irritieren)	I make space for understanding instead of irritation.
Tailgating	Преследование на близком расстоянии (Presledovanie na blizkom rasstoyanii)	Auffahren (Auffahren)	When a driver is tailgating and flashing his lights...
Negative thoughts	Негативные мысли (Negativnye mysli)	Negative Gedanken (Negative Gedanken)	80% of what we think are negative thoughts.
Pep talk	Подбадривающая речь (Podbaddrivayushchaya rech')	Motivationsrede (Motivationsrede)	I give myself some pep talk in the dressing room.
Insecure	Неуверенный в себе (Neuverennyy v sebe)	Unsicher (Unsicher)	As a beginning referee, I still feel insecure.

---

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

Can you explain the difference between the two strategies mentioned in the talk: "It's not about me" and "It is about me"?

• Sample Answer: "The first strategy, 'It's not about me,' encourages us to consider the other person's perspective. Maybe they're having a bad day or simply don't mean to be rude. The second strategy, 'It is about me,' acknowledges that something the other person said might have hit a sensitive spot because of our own insecurities."

Which strategy do you think would be easier to implement in everyday life? Why?

• Sample Answer: "The 'It's not about me' strategy might be easier initially, as it requires less self-reflection. However, the 'It is about me' strategy can be more powerful in the long run if you're willing to do the inner work."

Think of a situation where you recently took something personally. How could you have applied the "It's not about me" strategy in that situation?

• Sample Answer: "Maybe a colleague didn't respond to my email right away. Instead of assuming they're ignoring me, I could consider they might be busy or dealing with technical difficulties."

• 
  

Do you think it's completely possible to never take things personally?

• Sample Answer: "It's probably unrealistic to never take anything personally. However, with practice and self-awareness, we can learn to let things go more easily and avoid unnecessary stress."

How can these strategies for not taking things personally improve our relationships with others?

• Sample Answer: "By assuming the best in others and being open to communication, we can build stronger relationships based on trust and understanding."

Can you come up with an example of when the "It is about me" strategy might be helpful?

• Sample Answer: "If a friend constantly cancels plans on you, it could be a sign they don't value your friendship as much as you do. Using the 'It is about me' strategy might involve reflecting on your own needs and having a conversation with your friend."

• Imagine you're working on a group project and a teammate criticizes your idea. How could you use the idiom "see things from their perspective" to respond constructively?

• A friend cancels plans on you last minute. They apologize but you're still feeling a little hurt. How could you use the phrasal verb "give them the benefit of the doubt" to manage your emotions?

• You overhear someone making a negative comment about your outfit. How could you use the idiom "don't read too much into it" to avoid feeling self-conscious?

---

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

English Idiom/Phrasel Verb	Russian Equivalent	German Equivalent	Meaning
Don't take it personally	Не принимать близко к сердцу (Ne prinimat' blizko k serdtsu)	Nicht persönlich nehmen (Nicht persönlich nehmen)	Don't let it affect your feelings.
Let it roll off your back	Как с гуся вода (Kak s gusya voda)	Wie Wasser vom Rücken laufen lassen (Wie Wasser vom Rücken laufen lassen)	Don't let it bother you.
Brush it off	Отмахнуться (Otmakhnut'sya)	Abschütteln (Abschütteln)	Dismiss it as unimportant.
Water off a duck's back	С гуся вода (S gusya voda)	Dem ist alles egal (Dem ist alles egal)	Nothing bothers them.
Don't sweat it	Не парься (Ne par'sya)	Mach dir keinen Kopf drüber (Mach dir keinen Kopf drüber)	Don't worry about it.
See things from their perspective	Посмотреть на вещи их глазами (Posmotret' na veshchi ikh glazami)	Sich in die Lage des anderen versetzen (Sich in die Lage des anderen versetzen)	Try to understand their point of view.
Give them the benefit of the doubt	Дать им фору (Dat' im forum)	Ihnen den Zweifel zugute halten (Ihnen den Zweifel zugute halten)	Assume they didn't mean anything bad.
Don't read too much into it	Не придавать слишком большого значения (Ne pridavat' slishkom bol'shogo znacheniya)	Nicht zu viel hineininterpretieren (Nicht zu viel hineininterpretieren)	Don't overthink it.
Keep your cool	Сохранять спокойствие (Sokhranyat' spokoistvie)	Ruhe bewahren (Ruhe bewahren)	Stay calm and collected.
Let bygones be bygones	Прошлое - прошлому (Proshloe - proshlomu)	Lass die Vergangenheit Vergangenheit sein (Lass die Vergangenheit Vergangenheit sein)	Don't dwell on the past.